If you had told me when I married Jon that I would regularly attend church and be on the leadership council I would have laughed. I had long ago left the Lutheran and even Christian teachings of my youth behind. I explored the Hindu religion, Unitarian/Universalists, and ventured into a search for the female divinity and what that would mean in my life as I related to this higher power I so strongly believed existed. When I married I had found a spiritual life that was more Universalist, deeply connected to the changing seasons of life; where the center of belief was each individual’s connection and understanding of the divine. Then came children.
With a husband who wasn’t yet on board with my more universal belief in “all gods are one God”, I agreed to have the children baptized and raised in a Christian church as “the boat that will carry them through the waters of life”. I didn’t realize how coming back to Christianity would change me. In those first few years I joined a bible study, reading several chapters a week. Reading the bible again as an adult was very different than when I was a teen going through confirmation. I was now able to understand it within the context of what was happening in the cultural and world communities at the time it was written. What was happening for the writer and what experiences did he bring to it? What was happening for the intended recipient? All of this allowed me to understand God in a whole new way and relate to Jesus as saving through example. The patriarchal, authoritarian understanding that I had grown with was just one facet of this incredible Divinity. If you haven’t read or studied the bible since your youth, you might consider joining a bible study; one never knows how it might affect you.
I don’t think my faith journey is different than many of my fellow worshipers here at Luther Memorial. I am a seeker, who believes that Christ is an example of how to become one with the Divine. My adult understanding of God allows me to explore the feminine characteristics such as nurturing, protecting and tenderness within the Divinity. I am not afraid of God’s reaction to my choices, God doesn’t micromanage. But I feel separated from the Spirit when I make choices that are not what God intends. I am constantly falling away from God’s presence, and need structures around me (attendance at worship, continued reading and study) and reminders (taking time to reflect, talking with others about God) to feel the Spirit again.
I feel that Spirit moving through the people here at Luther each week. The music lifts me to a higher place where I can feel right with God. I am thankful for this spiritual home, and I am grateful to be sharing it with you. When you see me, please share your faith story with me. I love to hear how others find God working in their lives, it helps me to reflect and stay connected.